Why Did I Do It Again & How Can I Stop?
by Robert E. Longo with Laren Bays and Steven Sawyer

Building on foundational concepts introduced in the first workbook of the Paths to Wellness series, this second workbook offers people who have committed sexual offenses more advanced tools and strategies to prevent reoffending. While both workbooks emphasize understanding abusive behavior cycles and increasing self-awareness, Why Did I Do It Again? And How Can I Stop? delves more deeply into practical interventions and relapse prevention techniques.

A unique concept introduced in this workbook is the "Destruction Warning (DeW) Line." This powerful idea is designed to help clients recognize when they are at high risk of reoffending, allowing them to take urgent action to prevent harmful behavior.

The authors define the DeW as:

"The last border you step over before you destroy yourself and harm your victim with a new offense."

Clients are shown how to create a personalized list of specific behavioral warning flags that indicate they are in danger of reoffending. They are encouraged to place this list where it can be seen every day to serve as a constant reminder of their commitment to change.

The workbook also introduces more detailed strategies for avoiding high-risk situations. These include:

1. Avoidance strategies: Identify potential triggers and high-risk scenarios in advance and develop plans to prevent encountering them.
2. Environmental controls: Modify daily routines and environments to reduce the likelihood of negative behaviors. This includes avoiding high-risk locations (e.g., bars, adult bookstores) and refraining from unsupervised contact with vulnerable populations (e.g., children). Instead, engage in positive activities, such as full-time employment, to minimize idle time and isolation.
3. Emergency "escape plans": Create personal interventions to implement when clients feel they might re-offend.

“The essence of relapse prevention is anticipating and avoiding risky situations and making escape plans to fall back on. Identifying the signs and symptoms of a possible risky situation allows you to plan ahead of time how you will respond.”
Throughout the workbook, concrete examples and case studies illustrate how these strategies can be applied in real-life situations. This practical approach helps clients translate theoretical knowledge into actionable steps for maintaining their recovery.

The informal writing style used in the previous workbook is maintained, along with a focus on taking personal responsibility for one’s actions. The ultimate goal of this workbook series remains the same: preventing re-offense through increased self-awareness and the acquisition of new, healthier behaviors.

The authors draw from their many years of experience working with men who have sexually abused to provide therapists with tools to work with their clients to help them reach deep within themselves for the kinds of insights needed to redirect their lives toward a more promising future.