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Support for Families of Adolescents with Illegal Sexual Behavior
by Barbara L. Bonner, Ph.D.

Parents and caregivers of adolescents know this is a tumultuous time of identity-seeking, sexual exploration, and often rebellion. Adolescents are exploring their new cognitive capabilities, their new independence, and their emerging sexual selves.

What do parents do when this exploration crosses important boundaries and involves their adolescent becoming a victim – or a perpetrator – of unwanted and perhaps illegal sexual behaviors? Discovering that this has occurred leads to a flood of questions:

• How did this happen?
• Is it my fault?
• What should I do now?
• What can I do to communicate effectively with my teenager about this issue?
• Should I involve the legal system or Child Protective Services?
• Who needs to know about this situation?
• How can I support my child during this difficult time?
• What kind of treatment does my child need?

Concrete Guidance

In Taking Action (Adolescents), by Barbara L. Bonner, Ph.D., clinical child psychologist, professor of pediatrics at the University of Oklahoma and director of the Center on Child Abuse and Neglect, shares her extensive experience working with children and adolescents with problematic sexual behavior.  Dr. Bonner admits that, “This could be one of the most difficult times in your life” so she provides answers as well as specific actions parents can take in every phase of this difficult experience. Examples:

• Why would my child become involved in this kind of behavior? (page 6)
• Does my child have a mental illness? (page 8)
• How do I work effectively with Child Protective Services and other legal agencies? (page 14)
• What treatment options do we have? (page 20)
• How do I even talk to my child about this? (page 25)

Parents and caregivers will learn what to expect along every step of the way, from the initial investigation of illegal behavior to the filing of charges, court decisions, treatment, and placement options, and finally, case closure. They’ll even learn how the adolescent – and the family – can move ahead confident that the incident will never recur.

Reassurance and Hope

Bonner goes beyond the myths and unfounded fears to present what we know about illegal sexual behaviors and how caregivers can retain their focus and see themselves through this difficult time. Bonner and her colleagues with whom she has worked for the past 20 years are optimistic.

The first thing to know is that you’re not alone. Other families have been in your shoes. Other families have faced this situation and come out better and stronger afterward. What’s more, with the right help, most teens will successfully complete treatment and probation and go on to live healthy, constructive lives.

This is an invaluable guide to clinicians as well as families. The booklets are available for free download, or can be purchased in bulk so that clinicians, criminal justice and social work agencies can immediately provide parents with the information they need.

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