Taking Action
Support for Families of Children with Sexual Behavior Problems
by Jane F. Silovsky, Ph.D.

One of Parenting’s Most Difficult Times

Learning that your child has been the victim of - or perhaps a participant in – unhealthy sexual contact with another child is a fear shared by most parents and caregivers who are often ill-prepared to deal with the overwhelming swirl of questions that come next: How could this happen? Why didn’t I suspect it? What happens now? What is the ‘right’ way to help my child? How do I deal with the legal implications that may follow from this incident?

Along with these questions come the common emotional reactions of parents in this situation: guilt, anger, disappointment, and sadness.  There are no easy solutions, but the years of experience and advice shared by author Jane F. Silovsky, Ph.D., in this Taking Action booklet can help parents get through it.

It can help to know that sexual behaviors in children typically lessen with the right type of treatment and when families are actively involved in the services. Through such treatments, future sexual behavior problems can be prevented. Children with sexual behavior problems can learn to respect themselves and others. They can learn to demonstrate healthy boundaries and behaviors.

Dr. Silovsky first helps parents understand the difference between behaviors that indicate a child’s understandable interest in sex, to those behaviors that signal a potential problem.  The risk factors that could lead to sexual behavior problems are discussed in detail, as are factors in the family and in the community that can protect children and help them deal with sexual abuse.

Concrete Guidance

This booklet is filled with “what to expect next” information as well as specific recommendations to help parents deal effectively with other parents, teachers, therapists, and members of the legal profession that may become involved. A few examples:

• What to do if you suspect a child is being abused (Page 20)
• How to use “Private Parts” rules to help children learn boundaries (page 27)
• What to do if your child is involved in problematic sexual behavior (page 34)
• How to deal with your own overwhelming feelings (page 35)
• Treatment options available to you and how to assess them (page 40)

Children Can Emerge Stronger and Safer

Dr. Silovsky walks you through the creation of Family Rules and a Safety Plan so that children can learn about proper physical boundaries, and how to treat themselves and others with respect.  She also outlines resources families can take advantage of such as parenting support groups, education groups, and individual therapy. From the book’s conclusion:

By reading this booklet, you have given yourself a foundation of knowledge about sexual development and sexual behavior problems, and you have learned ways to prevent future sexual behavior problems. Remember, you are not alone. Effective treatments to reduce your child’s future risk are available for you.

Written by one of the leading authorities in the field, this guidebook is for parents and families of 3- to 12-year-old children who have problem sexual behaviors. It provides the answers caregivers need to help their children develop healthier behavior.